Friday, February 27, 2009

Now Thats Rich!

Here’s a plan for making money that is so simple you probably feel very stupid for not already thinking of it. Step one, wherever you go, look around and see if there’s money available. Step two, take any money that is, in fact, available. If you see a dime in the gutter, pick it up! That’s ten cents towards a yacht that you didn’t have previously.

But it doesn’t have to be all gutters and mall fountains! What I truly recommend to make this strategy work is that you attend a fancy party at a rich friend’s house. At some point say loudly “Oops, I left my expensive cellular telephone in my coat pocket” and go into the room that all the coats have been placed. Just like poor people often leave coins in the street, rich people often discard used and/or unwanted money in their purses and/or coat pockets, so search them vigorously.

If someone else comes in and asks what you’re doing it is likely that they are a fellow money enthusiast. To throw them off the scent of available cash tell them that you dropped quite a bit of your money on the bed by mistake, and all of the bills fell into various pockets and/or purses. Often times they will assist you in retrieving your new monies, if this happens it is best to give them a $1.50 tip. Now that’s rich.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Get Rapping To The Beat

As many of you may know, there are many people in the entertainment business that have made millions of dollars. The secret is to find a niche where you too can reap the profits. The easiest way to get a break in the industry is rap music. Think about it for a moment: The rap music does not require much talent at all. You just have to string words together about killing people and pimping women and drinking malt liquor and people give you money. All you need to do is get some "fat beats" and write a few dozen song about killing women and you will get a million dollars from the record labels. Thats Rich.

Frozen Credit

You know what people like in the wintertime? Warmth. It is one of their favorite things. Some people will pay upwards of thousands of dollars per year just to stay comfortable. There is money to be made off of this comfort, you might be thinking, but how? Fire is free, you might be thinking, but how could I make money off of selling fire?

Well the answer is you can’t but that is what this blog is here for. As a natural money saver, I have a knack for getting costs down and balances up. Think about it. When is heat free? Well during the summer it is. In fact, in the summer people pay money to get rid of their heat. That is the secret no one realizes. If you save the heat from summer you can re-sell it to neighbors when they could make use of it during winter.

This is what you do. First you will need a box, make sure it is airtight. I would recommend the videotape cases that you sometimes see for VHS cassettes. Sometimes they are free behind video stores but consult with the google and local laws to ensure its ok to take them. If you get them during the summer they come pre-filled with heat so that saves time and money. Then you can sell this packaged heat on cold days in winter. Just go to peoples houses during the winter time with several boxes of the warm air and open them up for instant warmth and money profits. Now Thats Rich!

Window$ of Opportunity

How many people do you know that want to know whats going on outside but don’t actually want to go out there and check? Probably a lot. I can think of at least a whole bunch off the top of my head. So how can one safely determine events without becoming a victim of circumstance? Simple. Windows.

Now you might be saying that hey what about myself, I already got [sic] a bunch of windows and so does everyone else. How can I make money off of that?

Well that is what this blog is for is to inform you of $ecret$ like this. Here is what you do. It requires a small investment where you go purchase some saran wrap. Then you start going around to different places and look for a place that has some old windows. Then you approach the owner and inform them of Energy Savings using new technologies. Everyone knows that if you got good windows, then you will have more money due to savings.

So you basically take the windows out of their Window House™ and replace the windows with the saran wrap. That is the energy savings. You would probably want to do this during the spring or fall as most temperate climates wont be extreme so they wont notice the difference. Then you keep their old windows in a storage facility and accrue interest on them. Then you can either sell those windows to a place. Check the phone book for "Window Purchasers". With the interest you accrued on these windows, you will reap the profits. NOW THAT’S RICH!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Why do I do this?

People often ask me when I am questioned about my seminars, blogs, and informational packages what motivates me. Everyone wants to know why I do what I do. It was not long ago that I was wrestling opponents on the beds of pickup trucks covered in hay and dirt to earn enough income to feed my family. It was not glamorous or fun, but it was what I needed to do in order to keep us alive. I suffered shattered bones, a crushed ego, and several dead or eaten mules.

I knew there had to be more to life than just wrestling and eating my mules in the off season, so I decided to take action. It took a lot of blood, sweat, tears, and urine...but I eventually developed a system that has worked for me and shot me to the top. Every day when I get up, I see the stuffed corpse of one of my most recent mules that I ate and it reminds me why I do this. It reminds me why I need to keep going. It reminds me of the awful taste of roast mule.

Thats Rich!

In such an unstable economy, the latest trend in stretching the dollar has been the "Rummage Sale". This type of sale consists of piling crap in your driveway and allowing neighborhood residents to come look at it and offer money. The rummage sale can be a sure fire way to earn lots of money if you play your cards right.

The first thing you will want to do is get a fine piece of art. If you do not have one of your own, find one at a thrift store. Make sure it looks sort of priceless and important. Find a friend or family member who can drop by your yard sale as a "famous art critic" and when there is a large crowd of people. Have him/her gasp at the priceless painting you are selling and offer $20,000 for it. As you are about to close the deal, have this person realize they have misplaced your checkbook and have them loudly say "I certainly hope no one else sneaks up and offers you a similar price while I go to my van to get my checkbook!". This will plant the idea in the minds of other rummage sale patrons. Have the art critic walk very very slowly back to the van, and this will give the other attendees ample time to pay $20,000 for your painting, which they will. Thats Rich.

Secret Way to Earn Income

One of my favorite ways to earn money is to go to places where I see wealthy looking men that carry themselves like they are guilty of something. Often times you will find such gentlemen in airports or airport bars. When you go looking for these people, you should dress as a detective. Walk up to one of them and give them a long stare. When they say "what?" simply reply "I know what you did, the jig is up". Since many of these people have actually done something wrong, they will usually gasp and say "name your price to not tell the coppers". Since you do not actually know what it is they have done, you can assure them with absolute confidence that their secret is safe with you. Make sure they pay you in cash because you do not want to give them your full name. Thats Rich.

Thats Rich!

Now That's Rich: Celebrity Edition

In order to acquire funds you can also ask celebrities for money. For my example we will use British pop singer Amy Winehouse. She won many awards for her efforts as a singer throughout the years and is respected by many musical journalists both in these United States and also in the Europe.

Before following these steps please make sure that all the information provided is in accordance with local laws and regulations. Check with a local lawyer or a nearby library and type "laws" into Google.

The first step is to call her on the telephone and say "Hello, this is your local cellular phone provider and the bill is far, far past due. In order to ensure quality phone service could you please pay the balance at once?" Now you may be saying "How do I get her telephone number?". Its easy. You just check the phonebook. Once you find the listing, then you call her and ask for the balance of her cellular bill. If she agrees to pay it, tell her the credit card machine broke and they had to special order the parts from Buffalo so its gonna be down til Sunday and even then who knows if Gary is gonna get a chance to fix it. Tell her to just send the cash to your address. Thats Rich.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Thats Rich!

Secret Tip for Wealth:

Find someone with a successful small business in your area. Study a lot about what it is they do. Study it and watch them like a cheetah watches a gazelle. Buy an expensive suit and after you have enough background information on what they do, go introduce yourself. You should dress very fancy when doing this. You want to create a strong impression that you are a tyrant with an iron fist in the same line of business as them. Make sure to talk in a loud voice and present lots of documents. Usually a manilla folder with papers in it, and a thick enough moustache is proof enough. Once you have intimidated them, they will usually sign over the title of their business. When they do this, tell them they still need to run it and you will "oversee the ventures". Never give away that you do not actually work at another small business. Collect the checks as they roll in. That's Rich.

Thats Rich!

Secret Tip to Earn Income:


Buy a house in a less than desirable neighborhood. Make sure the mortgage is less than $5000. Live in the house for a year. Just go to the bathroom in a bucket if necessary. When friends ask where you live say to them "it is a mystery" and shrug your shoulders and quickly change the subject.

After the year of residence is up and you have paid a portion of the mortgage, begin putting up fliers around town that you will burn the place down. This is legal to do in many american cities due to laws (ask a local lawyer for more information or consult a library). Make sure that you charge roughly $8 per person for attendance and once you sell 1000 tickets...you will have $8000. Then, you can burn the place to the ground and reap the benefits of massive profit. That's Rich.

Secret Blog

The hints listed in this blog for success in money making are my private gift to you. Please do not share this information with the general public. We cannot have everyone online being rich. Only those of us who know how to understand the importance of the nuances of being rich can truly appreciate what it means to be rich.

Thats Rich!

Successful way to earn money #1:

Find a guy who sells beans as a distributor. The variety of bean isn't that important. Marry his daughter and get on the ins with the bean route truck delivery guys. Have a friend rob one of the trucks and steal the beans. Sell them all in a parking lot some night for cheap. That's Rich.